Psalm 23:4
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me."

There are times in our lives when we don't seem to be able to find God's presence. Times when we feel as if our prayers get about 4 feet above our heads and then fall flat. In those times we may even start to wonder if we should even go on pretending to pray or to worship God. I went through one of those times awhile back.

I had gone through a divorce that left me feeling like a complete failure, totally useless to anyone. But I had since remarried to a most wonderful woman, who is truly a gift from God. I had been on a mountain for a good while, but then it seemed like everything was going against me. It wasn't anything I could really put my finger on, my marriage was still wonderful, I was the worship pastor at a church where the pastor pretty much gave me free reign for the music of the church. But I just felt discontented and like God wasn't really listening when I prayed. I knew in my head that He would never leave me nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5) But for the life of me, I couldn't get past the feeling that I had been abandoned on the side of the road.

It was in the pit of this that I sat down to do some personal worship and just started playing my guitar. Since I was feeling abandoned and starting to feel like I did when my former wife first left me, the chord structure followed it and ended up in a very minor key. (Music majors will realize what that means. It means that your music will end up sounding very ominous, very sad; almost scary.) When I went to open my mouth and sing His praise, His worship, all that would come out was, "As I sit in the darkness/Being deafened by silence/I start to wonder/Where are You, Lord?" And I realized that was what my heart was crying at that moment. Where are You, Lord? As I continued the verse just poured from my heart; "But I know in my heart that You are still with me/You'll never leave me/You gave me Your Word." And when I finished that verse my whole mood changed. I realized that though I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death, I would fear no evil for He is with me. I was only going to go through the valley, I wasn't going to make it my dwelling place. And besides, it was only the shadow of death. It wasn't actually able to do me in. I was in His care, not my own. He really is with me at all times, even if I don't feel like He is. No, especially when I don't feel like He is.

When I had this revelation it started to affect what I was playing, and I shifted to a major key (major keys make music sound happy and light). And my heart's cry became, "So in the shadows/I will still praise You/I'll lift my voice even louder than before/And when the darkness/Bears down upon me/From deep down within me/Your praises will pour". When we find ourselves in times of darkness, times when we feel we are lost in the valley, don't let it take away our song. That is when we need to sing the loudest. That is when we need to praise Him even more than before. Then the valley may not go away, but it won't seem as dark as it once did. For things are never as bad when you have the best Companion to walk through it with you.