I was adopted when I was 5 years old. I have always said that people who are adopted have a totally different oulook on the verse "To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons." (Gal. 4:5) than most people. Anyhow, God blessed me with being adopted by a Godly couple. My mom and dad are the Godliest people I know. So from then on, I grew up in the church. I gave my life to Christ when I was 17. But didn't really surrender to Him then.

Jump ahead a few years I got married and had 3 girls. I thought I was the most average person on earth. The only thing I thought I was doing well at was marriage. I thought we were happy. So imagine my shock when I ended up divorced after 16 years of marriage. The one thing I thought I was good at, I failed. My whole world was crashing down around me and I felt that I was completely alone. I had 2 of my daughters who had chosen to live with me, but I still felt alone. I felt I had failed everyone, especially my former wife and my kids.

I struggled with depression for years. I went 2 years without sleeping more than 1 hour every night. But I still had my church family. God had seen fit to have me move to Arizona where I had a church family that wouldn't let me give up. I joined the worship team because I had led worship in Pennsylvania and now that was the only time I was at peace.

I kept holding on to God. I had nothing else to hold onto. And eventually I learned to praise Him even more and louder when going through the hard times. But it took me awhile to learn it. I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I learned it earlier.

What I learned from this was that I was putting my wife and my marriage before and above my God. And that is a major no-no. I need to get my sense of purpose and worth from God and nothing or no one else.

I still have times of discontent (I like that word : ) but those are usually because God is showing me something about myself that I don't like. I still don't have the absolute surrender thing down pat, but I am constantly working on it.

Surrender everthing to Him and most of all, praise Him at all times. And praise Him all the more and all the louder when you find yourself in the shadows.